How to Network at Events Without Making It Awkward

How to start conversations, find the right people in the room, keep things natural, and turn a five-minute interaction into a relationship that actually goes somewhere.

First: Everyone Feels a Little Awkward

Networking events can feel incredibly unnatural. You walk into a room full of people already talking, you do not know where to stand, you feel like you always need to be holding a drink, and it feels like everyone else somehow knows exactly what they are doing.

The reality is that a lot of people in that room feel exactly the same way. If two people are standing in a conversation, there is a decent chance they are either trying to figure out how to keep the conversation going or how to eventually end it without making things awkward. Do not be afraid to walk over and join in.

One of my favorite lines is simply:

“Do you guys mind if I join in?”

You do not need some perfect introduction. Smile, introduce yourself, and join the conversation. At a networking event, people expect strangers to talk to them. The hardest part is usually just getting yourself to walk over.


Do Not Start by Pitching Yourself

When you meet someone you want to connect with, your first thought might be, “How do I tell them about my company?” Do not rush into it.

People love talking about themselves, and asking someone genuine questions makes the conversation much easier. Start with whatever feels natural:

  • What brings you to the event?

  • What are you working on?

  • Where are you from?

  • Have you always lived there?

  • How did you get into your industry?

  • Have you been to this event before?

  • What do you think of the event so far?

  • What is your favorite place you have traveled?

  • How do you know the organizers?

Listen to the answer and let the next question come from what they just told you. If someone says they recently moved from Boston to Virginia, you suddenly have five possible directions the conversation can go without having to completely change the subject.

Eventually, they will probably ask about you. That is your opportunity to explain what you are working on. If they do not ask, there is usually a natural point where you can bring it into the conversation yourself. The goal is not to hide your startup; it is just to have a conversation before you have a transaction.


Always Have a Few Questions in Your Back Pocket

A good conversation usually has a logical next topic, but sometimes things stall. I like having a few broad questions in the back of my mind that I can pull out whenever the conversation starts slowing down.

Things like:

  • “So what got you into this?”

  • “What are you working on right now?”

  • “How did you end up here?”

  • “What has been keeping you busy lately?”

  • “Are there any other events like this you usually go to?”

You do not need to memorize 20 questions. Have three or four you are comfortable asking and then actually listen to the answer. If you are spending the entire time thinking about what you are going to say next, people can usually tell.


Be Yourself

This sounds obvious, but I think people become weirdly robotic when they hear the word “networking.” You do not suddenly need a different personality because there are investors or executives in the room.

Be yourself. Smile. Be curious. Joke around when it feels appropriate. Talk about normal things. If you are excited about what you are building, let that excitement show.

I honestly do not love networking events. They can still feel unnatural and awkward sometimes. But the more I have done them, the more I have realized that conversation is a skill you can get dramatically better at.

A lot of people are not great at keeping a conversation moving. Some barely ask questions, while others only want to talk about themselves. If you become someone who can listen, ask good questions, bring energy into a conversation, and make the other person feel comfortable, you can stand out without doing anything crazy.


Know Who You Want to Meet Before You Arrive

You should be open to talking to everyone because you never know where a random conversation might lead. At bigger events, though, trying to talk to everyone can also become a waste of time.

If an event publishes the attendee list, speakers, judges, sponsors, or other information about who will be there, do some research beforehand. Identify a few people you would especially like to meet, such as:

  • Investors in your industry

  • Founders who have built something similar

  • Potential advisors

  • Potential customers

  • Executives at relevant companies

  • Competition judges

  • Accelerator leaders

  • People connected to your university

  • Someone who could potentially introduce you to another important person

Look them up on LinkedIn. Understand what they do and have an idea of why you actually want to talk to them. You do not need to research every person in the room, but having a few targets prevents you from walking around completely aimlessly.

Nametags can also make this surprisingly easy. If you see someone whose company, title, or name catches your attention, you can do a quick LinkedIn or Google search and decide whether it is worth introducing yourself.


Do Not Make Every Conversation About What Someone Can Do for You

Maybe you know someone is an investor. Maybe you know they could introduce you to a customer. Maybe they are exactly the advisor you have been looking for. You still do not need to immediately ask them for something.

Get to know them. Ask questions. Tell them what you are building when it comes up naturally. If there is a good reason to continue the conversation later, get their contact information and continue it later.

You are much more likely to eventually get an introduction, meeting, or piece of advice from someone who remembers having a good conversation with you than someone who remembers being asked for something three minutes after meeting you.


Get Their Contact Information Before You Leave

If you meet someone you genuinely want to stay connected with, make sure the conversation does not end with just, “Great meeting you.” Get their LinkedIn, email, phone number, or whatever contact information makes the most sense for the relationship.

LinkedIn is usually the easiest and most natural option. You can simply say, “It was great meeting you. Mind if I connect with you on LinkedIn?” Pull out your phone and do it while you are standing there rather than assuming you will remember their name later.

Once you have their contact information, make a quick note on your phone of what you actually talked about. This makes your follow-up much easier and more personal. If they mentioned a company they are building, an investor they know, a piece of advice they gave you, or even something simple like where they are from, use that as the reason for reaching back out.

Then send a short follow-up within a day or two. It does not need to be long or overly formal. Something as simple as “Great meeting you yesterday. I really enjoyed our conversation about X and would love to stay in touch” is enough to keep the relationship moving.

The goal is not to collect as many contacts as possible. It is to make sure the conversations that actually matter have a way to continue after the event.


Learn How to Leave a Conversation

Another thing that makes networking awkward is figuring out how to end a conversation once it has naturally run its course.

A few easy ways to exit are:

  • “It was really nice meeting you. I’m going to make my way around the room and meet a few more people, but I’d love to stay in touch.”

  • “I’m going to grab a drink, but it was great talking with you.”

  • “Really nice meeting you. Let’s definitely connect.”

That is completely normal at a networking event. Nobody expects you to spend the entire night talking to one person. If the conversation has naturally reached its end, they are also probably looking for a way out. Staying another ten minutes because neither person wants to be the one to leave usually makes the interaction much more awkward.


Introduce People to Each Other

One of the easiest ways to stand out at an event is to stop thinking only about who you want to meet and start thinking about who you can connect with each other.

If you are talking to someone and realize they should meet another person you spoke with earlier, make the introduction. It can be as simple as, “You should actually meet Sarah. She’s working on exactly what you were just describing.”

You do not need a massive network to do this. Even over the course of one event, you may meet two people who should know each other. Making that connection changes the way people remember you. Instead of being another person collecting LinkedIn contacts, you become someone who is actually useful to the people around them.

Over time, this compounds. If you consistently help other founders, investors, advisors, or industry professionals meet people who could be valuable to them, they are much more likely to think of you when they come across an opportunity or connection that could help you.


Read the Room

Being outgoing is important, but so is knowing when not to force a conversation. Not every person in the room wants to talk at every moment.

If someone is clearly in the middle of a serious one-on-one conversation, taking a phone call, trying to eat, or heading toward the door, that probably is not the best time to jump in. The same applies once you are already talking to someone. If they keep looking around the room, giving very short answers, or seem distracted, let the conversation end naturally.

Good networking is not about forcing yourself into every interaction possible. It is about being confident enough to start conversations while also having the social awareness to know when the timing is right. You want to be outgoing without becoming overbearing.


The Biggest Takeaway

Networking events feel awkward because, to some extent, they are awkward. You are walking into a room full of strangers and intentionally trying to start conversations with them. There is no reason that should feel completely natural the first few times you do it.

The good news is that almost everyone else is figuring it out too. Walk over and ask, “Do you guys mind if I join in?” Ask people about themselves, listen to what they say, and let the conversation naturally get to what you are working on. Keep a few questions in the back of your mind for when things slow down, get the contact information of the people you want to know, and learn how to comfortably end the conversation when it is time to move on.

Then follow up. That is the part that turns networking into something useful.

And do not put too much pressure on every interaction. You do not need to meet the investor who funds your company every time you walk into an event. Sometimes the person you meet introduces you to someone else, who introduces you to someone else, who eventually becomes the connection that changes your company.

Your job is just to start the first conversation and give the relationship a chance to go somewhere.


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